0400: Reveille
0415: Morning Calisthenics: Crunches and pushups.
0500: Weigh In: If you haven’t reached your goal weight, you cut back your food intake by half until you reach it. If you did make your goal weight, you cut back your food intake in order to reach the next one.
0515: Shower, get ready, try to find clothes that won’t show how “fat” you are.
0700: Nonbreakfast of hot water and instant coffee: Recite Ana Psalm before meal.
0800: Four Mile Run to burn off said “breakfast”
0900: Educational Time: Surf Pro Anorexia Websites, Touch Base With Fasting Buddies (if applicable).
1000: Two hours of aerobics to “earn” “lunch”.
1200: Optional lunchtime panel discussion: When Will You Be Thin Enough: How To Tell By Yourself Because Everyone Who Says You Are Is Lying To You. Lunch will not be provided.
1200: Lunch for those who are too “weak” to skip it.
1300: Obstacle Course: Jump Over the Hurdles of Weight Increments Leading You To Your Goal
Slalom Course Weaving In and Out of Friends Houses, Restaurants and Other Places You “Just Ate” at Before Arriving at Home.
Slither Through Sand Pit of Food That Wants To Get Into You.
200 Yard Dash Potato Sack Race To Burn Off Calories That Most Surely Were Absorbed Through Your Skin In the Sand Pit of Food or That Were Lurking in the Potato Sack
Balance Beam Walk To Keep Your Path as Narrowly Focused In One Direction As Possible, Paying No Attention to Any Danger Signs That Might Be on the Sides (those who listen to those signs and hence fall off the balance beam must repeat the entire course until they complete it).
1430: Educational Time: Read Calorie Content or Diet Books. Pop quizzes will be given frequently. All who get even one answer wrong or at least not perfectly right will have to run laps.
1445: Snack: Hot Tea or Lemon Water served with a side of saltine cracker.
1500: Craft Hour: Make pretty frames for progress photos, artfully arrange your food supplies, paste pictures of foods you can’t eat and food labels into scrapbooks. Draw pictures illustrating your I deal body and what life might look like and contain once you reach your goal weight and become thin enough. Do not notice, or bring up to other cadets or the CO that those good things you strive for through starving yourself thin were the very first things you lost when you began this quest. Partner Up to do tracings of your body. Following the outline, trace along about six inches or so outside of the figure until the original tracing is bordered by an even larger body outline around it. That’s what your real body looks like. Not just the mirror, but the body tracing, is lying to you.
1600: Boot Camp Graduation Ceremony: (for those who “won”). Those with commissary money may send flowers or donate to memorial funds in lieu of flowers as per the wishes of survivors, namely friends and families. Higher Ranking Officers are permitted off base to attend funeral services of graduates.
1700: Dinner: Diet Soda, Water, Buffet of Plain Rice Cakes, Sugar Free Jello, Fat Free Yogurt, Lettuce Leaves, Salad Garnishes, and Spray Butter and Dressing.
1800: Tug of War Contest: (every night except weekends)
“You’ vs. ‘your goal’” night (Mondays)-always ends in a draw.
“You’ versus ‘those who make you eat’-(Wednesdays) you may win a battle but it is a hollow victory and even if you don’t win, your friends/family always lose
“’You versus ‘those thinner than you.’(Tuesdays and Thursdays): you will always lose.
‘You” versus “your body’s natural inclinations to fight your efforts to starve yourself and lose weight.’(Fridays)-ongoing battle, always ends with one in the lead but not quite victorious, occasionally one will triumph over the other but look on the bright side, either way you win.
1900: Watch “thinspirational” videos while “power walking” on the treadmill for an hour to burn off dinner.
2000: Line Up for Diet Pills and/or Laxatives
2030: Update food/weight/measurement logs. Set new goals. Free Time: Read/Write.
2200: Lights Out
(30-2 hours after “lights out”): Laxatives do their job. Individual results may vary. No need to ask permission of the CO to use the latrines.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Less Shame: A Gain We Can All Deal With
I have never understood the “shaming” approach that many people take toward those with eating disorders or those who are on extreme opposite sides of the spectrum; “fat” and “thin”. Fat people are told to stop eating and thin people are told to eat. A person’s deservingness of nutrition-which EVERYONE needs, regardless of physical size-is tied to their physical appearance. While I would never equate “fat shaming” and “thin shaming”, I want to address a common thread between them: shame.
Shame is hurled outward, turned inward, and internalized and the results are never good. No one is healthier, happier, or more respectful of others because of shame. Shaming a person for their physical size/appearance, eating and exercise habits (real or perceived), or obvious disordered behavior, not only displays a lack of respect for their dignity and humanity, but it doesn’t work. If shaming “fat people” worked, everyone would be thin. And even if it did, is this a world we would want to live in? A world where we could not only use these tactics with impunity and justification, but also be extremely vulnerable to having them used on ourselves. Everyone is alienated from, distrustful of, and critical of each other, but hey, we’re all thin, we’re all quote unquote “healthy.” But are we? To me, it seems akin to living inside of an eating disorder; we’re alienated from not just ourselves but others, distrustful of what people say to us when they comment on our physical appearances, disordered eating habits, or express concern for our mental/physical health, and are hypercritical of ourselves, and occasionally others.
Most people, including myself, wouldn’t wish an eating disorder on their worst enemy. Considering the amount of people who suffer from EDs and also those who exhibit disordered eating habits that aren’t quite extreme enough to qualify as an eating disorder, that’s a lot of people. If each person felt that their eating problem or disorder was something they wouldn’t wish on anyone, imagine what changes could transpire if they lived out this conviction in their daily lives. Add in those who know a friend or family member who suffers with an eating disorder, disordered eating, or who deals with fat oppression and the numbers increase. If everyone made a conscious commitment to refrain from commenting on anyone’s eating habits, criticizing someone’s appearance or food choices, and joining in on or being complicit with (either by silence or laughter) jokes that are made at the expense of fat people or people with eating disorders. If you wouldn’t want it said about you, about a friend struggling with an eating disorder, about a friend who is overweight, don’t say it and don’t allow it to be said by others. And you never know who is listening and what they’re struggling with.
Sometimes people can struggle with serious eating disorders and go unnoticed for many years despite their behaviors and attitudes. Someone could very well be a “fat anorexic” so to speak and dealing with excruciating mixed emotions when someone compliments the very behavior that’s killing them physically and emotionally. On a level they know its not okay, yet they cannot stop themselves and when positive reinforcement is added to their mental confusion, it not only gives them the message that their behaviors are acceptable but that they are “necessary”. Or perhaps they weren’t “serious” to begin with, otherwise, why would someone be complimenting? Instead of seeking out help and beginning a healing process that will contain moments of destabilization, uncertainty, and perceived loss of control, they will cling to an illness that gives them a sense of control and mastery in the face of confusion and contradiction and go to any and all lengths to legitimize and normalize their behaviors. Even a hollow affirmation is better than shame; the shame of being overweight, shame for not being “sick enough” (or even “sick” at all) to recover, and shame for taking up physical and emotional space.
Shame is as effective at encouraging thinness and thus "health" as eating disorders are at bringing about "thin enough".
Shame is hurled outward, turned inward, and internalized and the results are never good. No one is healthier, happier, or more respectful of others because of shame. Shaming a person for their physical size/appearance, eating and exercise habits (real or perceived), or obvious disordered behavior, not only displays a lack of respect for their dignity and humanity, but it doesn’t work. If shaming “fat people” worked, everyone would be thin. And even if it did, is this a world we would want to live in? A world where we could not only use these tactics with impunity and justification, but also be extremely vulnerable to having them used on ourselves. Everyone is alienated from, distrustful of, and critical of each other, but hey, we’re all thin, we’re all quote unquote “healthy.” But are we? To me, it seems akin to living inside of an eating disorder; we’re alienated from not just ourselves but others, distrustful of what people say to us when they comment on our physical appearances, disordered eating habits, or express concern for our mental/physical health, and are hypercritical of ourselves, and occasionally others.
Most people, including myself, wouldn’t wish an eating disorder on their worst enemy. Considering the amount of people who suffer from EDs and also those who exhibit disordered eating habits that aren’t quite extreme enough to qualify as an eating disorder, that’s a lot of people. If each person felt that their eating problem or disorder was something they wouldn’t wish on anyone, imagine what changes could transpire if they lived out this conviction in their daily lives. Add in those who know a friend or family member who suffers with an eating disorder, disordered eating, or who deals with fat oppression and the numbers increase. If everyone made a conscious commitment to refrain from commenting on anyone’s eating habits, criticizing someone’s appearance or food choices, and joining in on or being complicit with (either by silence or laughter) jokes that are made at the expense of fat people or people with eating disorders. If you wouldn’t want it said about you, about a friend struggling with an eating disorder, about a friend who is overweight, don’t say it and don’t allow it to be said by others. And you never know who is listening and what they’re struggling with.
Sometimes people can struggle with serious eating disorders and go unnoticed for many years despite their behaviors and attitudes. Someone could very well be a “fat anorexic” so to speak and dealing with excruciating mixed emotions when someone compliments the very behavior that’s killing them physically and emotionally. On a level they know its not okay, yet they cannot stop themselves and when positive reinforcement is added to their mental confusion, it not only gives them the message that their behaviors are acceptable but that they are “necessary”. Or perhaps they weren’t “serious” to begin with, otherwise, why would someone be complimenting? Instead of seeking out help and beginning a healing process that will contain moments of destabilization, uncertainty, and perceived loss of control, they will cling to an illness that gives them a sense of control and mastery in the face of confusion and contradiction and go to any and all lengths to legitimize and normalize their behaviors. Even a hollow affirmation is better than shame; the shame of being overweight, shame for not being “sick enough” (or even “sick” at all) to recover, and shame for taking up physical and emotional space.
Shame is as effective at encouraging thinness and thus "health" as eating disorders are at bringing about "thin enough".
Saturday, May 30, 2009
MeMe Roth: Fat Shaming, Victim Blaming.
"The defence has been made in the case of sex criminals that there is pleasure on the part of the victim. The same is true with what we're doing with food. We may abuse our bodies with food, but it's incredibly pleasurable. From a food marketer's point of view, when your quote unquote victim is so willing and enjoying of the process, who's fighting back?"
-MeMe Roth speaking to reporter Gaby Wood from The Guardian.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/may/24/meme-roth-obesity-nutrition
Through The F-Word, an excellent blog that I follow, I learned about MeMe Roth’s interview with a reporter from the Guardian where, among other outrageous statements, Roth compared rape to “overeating”. I use quotes because “overeating” is entirely subjective. In “The Woman Who Hates Food.” reporter Gaby Wood sits down for an “after lunch” meeting with Ms. Roth and is treated to a dizzying array of facts and statistics mingled in with incomprehensible analogies. Upon hearing these, Wood comments in her article that Roth’s “formulations are of such questionable sanity that they can't possibly help her cause.” One can only hope. Though many points have already been made by eloquent bloggers, I feel compelled to add my own analysis regarding Roth’s incoherent and offensive rape analogy. As a survivor of domestic violence and someone with eating issues, the quote strikes me as troublesome on many levels. Roth makes many egregious parallels between rape and “food abuse” or “abuse by food that are not only illogical but that also manage to uphold many hurtful myths and beliefs about rape/abuse and victims.
In the first part of her comment, Roth conflates “pleasure” with a physical reaction. The body may react physically even when the victim’s reaction is terror and revulsion. Lubrication is the body’s way of preparing for the man to physically enter and continuous contact with the man’s penis will stimulate the body to become wet. If the vagina didn’t become wet prior to penetration, the tissues can be ripped. Child rape victims can often be torn up inside by the penis or object used to penetrate them and require years of surgery to repair the damage, provided that it can be fixed. The emotional and psychological effects of the rape can take many years to recover from and come to terms with. Many survivors experience tremendous guilt and confusion for having sexually responded to their rapists or experiencing pleasurable sensations during the assault. The body cannot differentiate between unwanted and wanted sexual stimulation. Sometimes the body can become sexually aroused against the person’s will. Every man probably has a story of trying to hide an erection or emission that came at an inopportune time. People can become physically aroused in times of stress or emotional strain. A person can become aroused and wet while engaging in sports or vigorous physical exercise. Conversely some people are unable to become aroused of physically respond to sexual stimulation and contact even when they want to.
People who struggle with emotional eating often are able to differentiate between food they wished to or intended to eat and food they gorged on when an urge to binge took over. Bulimic individuals , especially pregnant women who aren’t able to stop their behaviors for the duration of the pregnancy, often use a system of “markers” wherein they eat a normal meal or snack and then eat a “marker” such as carrots before beginning to binge and purge. When they’ve purged the carrots they know that they’ve gotten rid of the excess food they binged on. It seems to be a very systematic process but in reality, these men and women have no control over their behavior and want to stop but cannot. Many women who overeat or binge and purge take no pleasure in the foods they are consuming and do not even taste them as they go down. The frenetic pace that often accompanies a binge or binge and purge session doesn’t allow for one to savor the taste of a food or enjoy eating it. They are “abusing” food, meaning using it to act out in disordered ways and using it as a means of expressing emotional pain or a feeling of loss of control (or attempt to regain control in some cases of bulimia) but they are not finding it pleasurable. Instead they are scared and disgusted by their behavior and work very hard to hide it from others. A compulsion or compulsive behavior, while it might bring about a short-term relief or feeling of emotional release, is inherently unpleasant and any tiny bit of respite depends wholly on satisfying the compulsion, or at least holding off the obsessive feelings for the moment.
Abuse is one-sided violence if viewed in the context of coercive control (While the use of violence during couple fights is troublesome, I do not use the term “abuse” to describe it if the violence is outside the context of coercive control. If the violence is not accompanied by attempts by one partner to control the other financially, emotionally, and physically and to prevent them from leaving if they want to, I will not refer to it as “abuse”). Abuse implies that a person is being controlled by an external force and that their attempts to assert their own will are thwarted by use of physical/emotional violence, isolation, financial control, stalking, and threats to children/pets/family/friends, to name a few popular tactics. I have never heard of any food that could do these things (and a person dressed in a hot dog or chicken costume doesn’t count). I don’t recall ever hearing about a person filing a complaint against an orange that wouldn’t quit following them around and leaving notes on their car, or a mutton chop that suddenly came to life and barred someone from exiting the house, or a hamburger that controlled the family finances and or a hamburger that threatened to kill someone’s pet or children if she dared leave.
Roth describes the “food abuse” abuse process as internal and external. We “abuse ourselves with food” and we are abused by food via the food marketer. In the context of talking about eating disordered behavior and dynamics, a sufferer could be seen to be abusing themselves through their self destructive behavior, as all of their anger, fear, and guilt is turned inward. But Roth is not referring to those who suffer from eating disorders or disordered eating. Roth conflates “abuse” with “use”. It is the type of and quantity of food that matters here, not one’s control over it or emotional issues surrounding it. I don’t believe she would classify someone who is eating a small salad as “abusing themselves with food”. Rather the person who “abuses themselves with food” is the person who is eating the “wrong” foods, “unhealthy foods”, or eating “too much.”. Interestingly, though perhaps not surprisingly, eating disordered people, especially persons with anorexia use these terms to justify their eating habits and beliefs about food. They rationalize their behavior as “normal” or “healthy” because they are refusing to eat foods that are viewed to be high in calories or fattening and claim they feel full even after meals of the “safe” foods they do allow themselves to eat, albeit in tiny amounts. I doubt that Roth would categorize these sufferers as “food abusers”.
As for the issue of food abuse via the food marketer, I find it problematic for several reasons; the first reason being that there is a coercive control dynamic between the food marketer and the consumer. Marketers may use aggressive advertising campaigns, low prices, and misleading information in order to sell their products but the consumer, assuming they can afford and have access to healthful foods and fresh vegetables and thus can choose- has other alternatives. They have a breathtaking array of foods, brands, and stores to choose from. And the individual consumer who chooses to eschew the “food marketers’” products and instead to buy other foods would probably not be noticed by said food marketers. This scenario is in no way comparable to the intense scrutiny, control, and manipulation that the abused person is subjected to by their partner. If the person dresses in a “too sexy” manner, talks to “bad” friends, or refuses to account for there whereabouts, she could find herself in physical danger or be subject to other verbal and emotional assaults such as name calling, threats, or destruction of her personal possessions. A food marketer is not able to exact that kind of retaliation against someone for not buying their products. So the concept of abuse via food marketer is absurd at best and incredibly insensitive to the realities of abused women and demeaning to those who have suffered abuse and/or rape.
Criticism of the food industry and many of its questionable practices is valid and deserves a place in national discourses on nutrition. The issue of healthy versus unhealthy foods is more than the black-and-white issue that Ms. Roth presents it to be (and come to think of it, black-and-white thinking is a sign of a potential eating disorder). If the issue is examined through a broader lens of race and class, “choice” depends on availability and accessibility. One’s ability to “choose” is hindered if they aren’t presented with viable alternatives. A person who has access to large grocery stores with fresh vegetables delivered daily and low prices and the money to purchase them has much more of a choice than a poor person living in the inner city who only has access through food at corner bodegas where markups are high and vegetables are either not in stock of the ones available are expensive and of poor quality. I can say more on this topic but I will save it for another post.
MeMe Roth believes that fat shaming will lead to a thinner and purportedly “healthier” world. From the analogy she gave to the reporter, I can’t help but wonder what other kinds of shaming she thinks will be effective in bringing about this “thinner, healthier world”. As many victims of abuse or rape turn to food to cope, whether through starving, binging, or purging, I am curious as to where and how Roth would draw the line when it comes to shaming someone for being “fat”. Would she be as condemning of a rape victim using food to “stuff down” the emotions or to make herself bigger and hence unattractive as she is of the “ordinary person” who she believes indulges in “too much” of all the “wrong foods”? Roth’s desire for a thinner world drives her to savagely criticize and shame others, promoting “nutrition” while neglecting her own physical and psychological health and well-being. I wonder if she wants to see thinness around her because she cannot see it in herself. Who wants to be surrounded by what they hate, especially when what they hate is usually something that is also present in themselves whether rightly or wrongly. People who hate those who are fat often fear that they too could become fat just as people who revile those who are labeled as mentally ill or “crazy” are often afraid they are also “crazy” or could easily end up like that. I can understand Roth wanting to validate her own thinness and the practices she resorts to in order to maintain it as “normal”. But what I don’t condone is taking this to a national level and trying to impose this obsessiveness upon others through misinformation and shaming tactics. I wish she would get help instead of pushing her version of “help” upon others.
http://the-f-word.org/blog/index.php/2009/05/27/the-skinny-on-meme-roth/
http://kateharding.net/2009/05/27/its-not-easy-being-meme/
http://jezebel.com/5269464/anti+obesity-activist-meme-roth-compares-eating-to-rape
-MeMe Roth speaking to reporter Gaby Wood from The Guardian.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/may/24/meme-roth-obesity-nutrition
Through The F-Word, an excellent blog that I follow, I learned about MeMe Roth’s interview with a reporter from the Guardian where, among other outrageous statements, Roth compared rape to “overeating”. I use quotes because “overeating” is entirely subjective. In “The Woman Who Hates Food.” reporter Gaby Wood sits down for an “after lunch” meeting with Ms. Roth and is treated to a dizzying array of facts and statistics mingled in with incomprehensible analogies. Upon hearing these, Wood comments in her article that Roth’s “formulations are of such questionable sanity that they can't possibly help her cause.” One can only hope. Though many points have already been made by eloquent bloggers, I feel compelled to add my own analysis regarding Roth’s incoherent and offensive rape analogy. As a survivor of domestic violence and someone with eating issues, the quote strikes me as troublesome on many levels. Roth makes many egregious parallels between rape and “food abuse” or “abuse by food that are not only illogical but that also manage to uphold many hurtful myths and beliefs about rape/abuse and victims.
In the first part of her comment, Roth conflates “pleasure” with a physical reaction. The body may react physically even when the victim’s reaction is terror and revulsion. Lubrication is the body’s way of preparing for the man to physically enter and continuous contact with the man’s penis will stimulate the body to become wet. If the vagina didn’t become wet prior to penetration, the tissues can be ripped. Child rape victims can often be torn up inside by the penis or object used to penetrate them and require years of surgery to repair the damage, provided that it can be fixed. The emotional and psychological effects of the rape can take many years to recover from and come to terms with. Many survivors experience tremendous guilt and confusion for having sexually responded to their rapists or experiencing pleasurable sensations during the assault. The body cannot differentiate between unwanted and wanted sexual stimulation. Sometimes the body can become sexually aroused against the person’s will. Every man probably has a story of trying to hide an erection or emission that came at an inopportune time. People can become physically aroused in times of stress or emotional strain. A person can become aroused and wet while engaging in sports or vigorous physical exercise. Conversely some people are unable to become aroused of physically respond to sexual stimulation and contact even when they want to.
People who struggle with emotional eating often are able to differentiate between food they wished to or intended to eat and food they gorged on when an urge to binge took over. Bulimic individuals , especially pregnant women who aren’t able to stop their behaviors for the duration of the pregnancy, often use a system of “markers” wherein they eat a normal meal or snack and then eat a “marker” such as carrots before beginning to binge and purge. When they’ve purged the carrots they know that they’ve gotten rid of the excess food they binged on. It seems to be a very systematic process but in reality, these men and women have no control over their behavior and want to stop but cannot. Many women who overeat or binge and purge take no pleasure in the foods they are consuming and do not even taste them as they go down. The frenetic pace that often accompanies a binge or binge and purge session doesn’t allow for one to savor the taste of a food or enjoy eating it. They are “abusing” food, meaning using it to act out in disordered ways and using it as a means of expressing emotional pain or a feeling of loss of control (or attempt to regain control in some cases of bulimia) but they are not finding it pleasurable. Instead they are scared and disgusted by their behavior and work very hard to hide it from others. A compulsion or compulsive behavior, while it might bring about a short-term relief or feeling of emotional release, is inherently unpleasant and any tiny bit of respite depends wholly on satisfying the compulsion, or at least holding off the obsessive feelings for the moment.
Abuse is one-sided violence if viewed in the context of coercive control (While the use of violence during couple fights is troublesome, I do not use the term “abuse” to describe it if the violence is outside the context of coercive control. If the violence is not accompanied by attempts by one partner to control the other financially, emotionally, and physically and to prevent them from leaving if they want to, I will not refer to it as “abuse”). Abuse implies that a person is being controlled by an external force and that their attempts to assert their own will are thwarted by use of physical/emotional violence, isolation, financial control, stalking, and threats to children/pets/family/friends, to name a few popular tactics. I have never heard of any food that could do these things (and a person dressed in a hot dog or chicken costume doesn’t count). I don’t recall ever hearing about a person filing a complaint against an orange that wouldn’t quit following them around and leaving notes on their car, or a mutton chop that suddenly came to life and barred someone from exiting the house, or a hamburger that controlled the family finances and or a hamburger that threatened to kill someone’s pet or children if she dared leave.
Roth describes the “food abuse” abuse process as internal and external. We “abuse ourselves with food” and we are abused by food via the food marketer. In the context of talking about eating disordered behavior and dynamics, a sufferer could be seen to be abusing themselves through their self destructive behavior, as all of their anger, fear, and guilt is turned inward. But Roth is not referring to those who suffer from eating disorders or disordered eating. Roth conflates “abuse” with “use”. It is the type of and quantity of food that matters here, not one’s control over it or emotional issues surrounding it. I don’t believe she would classify someone who is eating a small salad as “abusing themselves with food”. Rather the person who “abuses themselves with food” is the person who is eating the “wrong” foods, “unhealthy foods”, or eating “too much.”. Interestingly, though perhaps not surprisingly, eating disordered people, especially persons with anorexia use these terms to justify their eating habits and beliefs about food. They rationalize their behavior as “normal” or “healthy” because they are refusing to eat foods that are viewed to be high in calories or fattening and claim they feel full even after meals of the “safe” foods they do allow themselves to eat, albeit in tiny amounts. I doubt that Roth would categorize these sufferers as “food abusers”.
As for the issue of food abuse via the food marketer, I find it problematic for several reasons; the first reason being that there is a coercive control dynamic between the food marketer and the consumer. Marketers may use aggressive advertising campaigns, low prices, and misleading information in order to sell their products but the consumer, assuming they can afford and have access to healthful foods and fresh vegetables and thus can choose- has other alternatives. They have a breathtaking array of foods, brands, and stores to choose from. And the individual consumer who chooses to eschew the “food marketers’” products and instead to buy other foods would probably not be noticed by said food marketers. This scenario is in no way comparable to the intense scrutiny, control, and manipulation that the abused person is subjected to by their partner. If the person dresses in a “too sexy” manner, talks to “bad” friends, or refuses to account for there whereabouts, she could find herself in physical danger or be subject to other verbal and emotional assaults such as name calling, threats, or destruction of her personal possessions. A food marketer is not able to exact that kind of retaliation against someone for not buying their products. So the concept of abuse via food marketer is absurd at best and incredibly insensitive to the realities of abused women and demeaning to those who have suffered abuse and/or rape.
Criticism of the food industry and many of its questionable practices is valid and deserves a place in national discourses on nutrition. The issue of healthy versus unhealthy foods is more than the black-and-white issue that Ms. Roth presents it to be (and come to think of it, black-and-white thinking is a sign of a potential eating disorder). If the issue is examined through a broader lens of race and class, “choice” depends on availability and accessibility. One’s ability to “choose” is hindered if they aren’t presented with viable alternatives. A person who has access to large grocery stores with fresh vegetables delivered daily and low prices and the money to purchase them has much more of a choice than a poor person living in the inner city who only has access through food at corner bodegas where markups are high and vegetables are either not in stock of the ones available are expensive and of poor quality. I can say more on this topic but I will save it for another post.
MeMe Roth believes that fat shaming will lead to a thinner and purportedly “healthier” world. From the analogy she gave to the reporter, I can’t help but wonder what other kinds of shaming she thinks will be effective in bringing about this “thinner, healthier world”. As many victims of abuse or rape turn to food to cope, whether through starving, binging, or purging, I am curious as to where and how Roth would draw the line when it comes to shaming someone for being “fat”. Would she be as condemning of a rape victim using food to “stuff down” the emotions or to make herself bigger and hence unattractive as she is of the “ordinary person” who she believes indulges in “too much” of all the “wrong foods”? Roth’s desire for a thinner world drives her to savagely criticize and shame others, promoting “nutrition” while neglecting her own physical and psychological health and well-being. I wonder if she wants to see thinness around her because she cannot see it in herself. Who wants to be surrounded by what they hate, especially when what they hate is usually something that is also present in themselves whether rightly or wrongly. People who hate those who are fat often fear that they too could become fat just as people who revile those who are labeled as mentally ill or “crazy” are often afraid they are also “crazy” or could easily end up like that. I can understand Roth wanting to validate her own thinness and the practices she resorts to in order to maintain it as “normal”. But what I don’t condone is taking this to a national level and trying to impose this obsessiveness upon others through misinformation and shaming tactics. I wish she would get help instead of pushing her version of “help” upon others.
http://the-f-word.org/blog/index.php/2009/05/27/the-skinny-on-meme-roth/
http://kateharding.net/2009/05/27/its-not-easy-being-meme/
http://jezebel.com/5269464/anti+obesity-activist-meme-roth-compares-eating-to-rape
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Are You a "Fat Anorexic"?
Are you a “Fat Anorexic”?
CRITERIA: (flexible, subject to revision, and acknowledges those “gray areas” between the black and white)
1. Do you engage in self starvation and other eating disordered behavior commonly associated with anorexia but you haven’t quite gotten down to the “qualifying” BMI of 17.5?
2. Did you become eating disordered when you were overweight or at a high weight and despite having lost significant amounts of weight in a very short time, you’re still in the “normal” weight range?
3. Does your eating disorder and your behaviors garner you more compliments and praise than concern?
4. Can you talk about having lost a lot of weight, eating starvation levels of calories per day, fasting, purging, over exercising, and other dangerous behaviors without anyone suspecting an eating disorder?
5. If you’ve ever fainted, has the first question been “are you pregnant?” as opposed to “did you eat/drink today? Are you eating enough?”
6. Are you one or two purges per month/week short of “earning” the diagnosis of bulimia?
7. Could you go to a doctor, get weighed, have your vitals taken, and have an honest discussion of your eating habits and practices without arousing suspicion?
8. Instead of making you all “perfect” and “thin” does your eating disorder accomplish the opposite and cause you to either yoyo up and down or gain weight?
9. Have you ever sought help or told a professional that you were concerned about your binging and purging, inability to eat, over exercising, and been dismissed, or worse, laughed at. Were you told to “just eat healthy”, “come back if you get worse” (meaning lose more weight), or that “well, you don’t look THAT skinny.”
10. If you were to complain about feeling/being fat, people have either agreed with you or told you that you were “perfect”?
11. Do you feel as if the course of your ED has run in a backward fashion, meaning that instead of losing weight and then losing your mind as a result (or having it happen concurrently), you seem to be losing your mind but your body is stubborn to follow, thus leading to even more mental anguish.
12. If your insides did indeed reflect your outsides, you wouldn’t be on this blog right now, let alone worrying about food, weight, and fat.
13. Do you meet the physical criteria for one of the “main” eating disorders (namely anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder) but still feel that you’re not “sick enough”.
14. I say ED-NOS, you say…”Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Special, Eating Disorder No Offers of Support, Eating Disorder Not Often Seen, or Eating Disorder Not Often Stereotypical.”
15. You deal with both the lived experience of “feeling fat” AND the feeling itself.
16. You eat a starvation diet, never eat in front of people, use diet pills, over exercise, feel ashamed of your body, and may have expressed your feelings of being “fat” out loud but no one suspects a problem.
17. Doctors and mental health professionals refuse to validate your concerns (or those of others) with regards to your eating habits and self perception because you don’t purge enough, don’t starve enough, can’t lose the weight to qualify for anorexia, or eat too much to merit concern.
CRITERIA: (flexible, subject to revision, and acknowledges those “gray areas” between the black and white)
1. Do you engage in self starvation and other eating disordered behavior commonly associated with anorexia but you haven’t quite gotten down to the “qualifying” BMI of 17.5?
2. Did you become eating disordered when you were overweight or at a high weight and despite having lost significant amounts of weight in a very short time, you’re still in the “normal” weight range?
3. Does your eating disorder and your behaviors garner you more compliments and praise than concern?
4. Can you talk about having lost a lot of weight, eating starvation levels of calories per day, fasting, purging, over exercising, and other dangerous behaviors without anyone suspecting an eating disorder?
5. If you’ve ever fainted, has the first question been “are you pregnant?” as opposed to “did you eat/drink today? Are you eating enough?”
6. Are you one or two purges per month/week short of “earning” the diagnosis of bulimia?
7. Could you go to a doctor, get weighed, have your vitals taken, and have an honest discussion of your eating habits and practices without arousing suspicion?
8. Instead of making you all “perfect” and “thin” does your eating disorder accomplish the opposite and cause you to either yoyo up and down or gain weight?
9. Have you ever sought help or told a professional that you were concerned about your binging and purging, inability to eat, over exercising, and been dismissed, or worse, laughed at. Were you told to “just eat healthy”, “come back if you get worse” (meaning lose more weight), or that “well, you don’t look THAT skinny.”
10. If you were to complain about feeling/being fat, people have either agreed with you or told you that you were “perfect”?
11. Do you feel as if the course of your ED has run in a backward fashion, meaning that instead of losing weight and then losing your mind as a result (or having it happen concurrently), you seem to be losing your mind but your body is stubborn to follow, thus leading to even more mental anguish.
12. If your insides did indeed reflect your outsides, you wouldn’t be on this blog right now, let alone worrying about food, weight, and fat.
13. Do you meet the physical criteria for one of the “main” eating disorders (namely anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder) but still feel that you’re not “sick enough”.
14. I say ED-NOS, you say…”Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Special, Eating Disorder No Offers of Support, Eating Disorder Not Often Seen, or Eating Disorder Not Often Stereotypical.”
15. You deal with both the lived experience of “feeling fat” AND the feeling itself.
16. You eat a starvation diet, never eat in front of people, use diet pills, over exercise, feel ashamed of your body, and may have expressed your feelings of being “fat” out loud but no one suspects a problem.
17. Doctors and mental health professionals refuse to validate your concerns (or those of others) with regards to your eating habits and self perception because you don’t purge enough, don’t starve enough, can’t lose the weight to qualify for anorexia, or eat too much to merit concern.
Friday, May 15, 2009
An Introduction
A word on the title:
This blog addresses the experiences of the non-normative eating disordered. "Fat Anorexic" can be taken to mean a lot of things. Regardless of physical size, the feeling of "fat" is key part of the anorexic experience. Just as eating disorders have nothing to do with weight, this feeling of "fat" has nothing to do with anyone's actual size. "Fat" lingers no matter how much weight is lost and paradoxically, sticks around even when physical health is achieved. One would be hard pressed to find a person with anorexia who does not consider themselves a "fat anorexic".
As anyone with an atypical (or even "typical") eating disorder can attest to, the "fat anorexic" contends with a double invisibility. He or she seeks the invisibility that extreme thinness confers yet at the same time they are invisible because that thinness eludes them or is not to a point where friends/family become alarmed. Their dangerous-physically and emotionally-eating disordered behaviors are ignored, praised even, because they do not "look sick" or appear to be in any physical danger.
There are very little discourses on the experiences of non-normative eating disordered individuals. If one doesn't fit strict physical criteria, they are often denied insurance coverage and treatment. When they seek help, they are met with doubt and denial. They are not validated as sick and hence in need of treatment unless they meet the physical criteria which determines they are "sick enough". I want to create a space where these experiences and realities can be shared, discussed, and validated.
This blog addresses the experiences of the non-normative eating disordered. "Fat Anorexic" can be taken to mean a lot of things. Regardless of physical size, the feeling of "fat" is key part of the anorexic experience. Just as eating disorders have nothing to do with weight, this feeling of "fat" has nothing to do with anyone's actual size. "Fat" lingers no matter how much weight is lost and paradoxically, sticks around even when physical health is achieved. One would be hard pressed to find a person with anorexia who does not consider themselves a "fat anorexic".
As anyone with an atypical (or even "typical") eating disorder can attest to, the "fat anorexic" contends with a double invisibility. He or she seeks the invisibility that extreme thinness confers yet at the same time they are invisible because that thinness eludes them or is not to a point where friends/family become alarmed. Their dangerous-physically and emotionally-eating disordered behaviors are ignored, praised even, because they do not "look sick" or appear to be in any physical danger.
There are very little discourses on the experiences of non-normative eating disordered individuals. If one doesn't fit strict physical criteria, they are often denied insurance coverage and treatment. When they seek help, they are met with doubt and denial. They are not validated as sick and hence in need of treatment unless they meet the physical criteria which determines they are "sick enough". I want to create a space where these experiences and realities can be shared, discussed, and validated.
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