Anorexia Boot Camp: Pro Anorexia Week

0400: Reveille
0415: Morning Calisthenics: Crunches and pushups.
0500: Weigh In: If you haven’t reached your goal weight, you cut back your food intake by half until you reach it. If you did make your goal weight, you cut back your food intake in order to reach the next one.
0515: Shower, get ready, try to find clothes that won’t show how “fat” you are.
0700: Nonbreakfast of hot water and instant coffee: Recite Ana Psalm before meal.
0800: Four Mile Run to burn off said “breakfast”
0900: Educational Time: Surf Pro Anorexia Websites, Touch Base With Fasting Buddies (if applicable).
1000: Two hours of aerobics to “earn” “lunch”.
1200: Optional lunchtime panel discussion: When Will You Be Thin Enough: How To Tell By Yourself Because Everyone Who Says You Are Is Lying To You. Lunch will not be provided.
1200: Lunch for those who are too “weak” to skip it.
1300: Obstacle Course: Jump Over the Hurdles of Weight Increments Leading You To Your Goal
Slalom Course Weaving In and Out of Friends Houses, Restaurants and Other Places You “Just Ate” at Before Arriving at Home.
Slither Through Sand Pit of Food That Wants To Get Into You.
200 Yard Dash Potato Sack Race To Burn Off Calories That Most Surely Were Absorbed Through Your Skin In the Sand Pit of Food or That Were Lurking in the Potato Sack
Balance Beam Walk To Keep Your Path as Narrowly Focused In One Direction As Possible, Paying No Attention to Any Danger Signs That Might Be on the Sides (those who listen to those signs and hence fall off the balance beam must repeat the entire course until they complete it).
1430: Educational Time: Read Calorie Content or Diet Books. Pop quizzes will be given frequently. All who get even one answer wrong or at least not perfectly right will have to run laps.
1445: Snack: Hot Tea or Lemon Water served with a side of saltine cracker.
1500: Craft Hour: Make pretty frames for progress photos, artfully arrange your food supplies, paste pictures of foods you can’t eat and food labels into scrapbooks. Draw pictures illustrating your I deal body and what life might look like and contain once you reach your goal weight and become thin enough. Do not notice, or bring up to other cadets or the CO that those good things you strive for through starving yourself thin were the very first things you lost when you began this quest. Partner Up to do tracings of your body. Following the outline, trace along about six inches or so outside of the figure until the original tracing is bordered by an even larger body outline around it. That’s what your real body looks like. Not just the mirror, but the body tracing, is lying to you.
1600: Boot Camp Graduation Ceremony: (for those who “won”). Those with commissary money may send flowers or donate to memorial funds in lieu of flowers as per the wishes of survivors, namely friends and families. Higher Ranking Officers are permitted off base to attend funeral services of graduates.
1700: Dinner: Diet Soda, Water, Buffet of Plain Rice Cakes, Sugar Free Jello, Fat Free Yogurt, Lettuce Leaves, Salad Garnishes, and Spray Butter and Dressing.
1800: Tug of War Contest: (every night except weekends)
“You’ vs. ‘your goal’” night (Mondays)-always ends in a draw.
“You’ versus ‘those who make you eat’-(Wednesdays) you may win a battle but it is a hollow victory and even if you don’t win, your friends/family always lose
“’You versus ‘those thinner than you.’(Tuesdays and Thursdays): you will always lose.
‘You” versus “your body’s natural inclinations to fight your efforts to starve yourself and lose weight.’(Fridays)-ongoing battle, always ends with one in the lead but not quite victorious, occasionally one will triumph over the other but look on the bright side, either way you win.
1900: Watch “thinspirational” videos while “power walking” on the treadmill for an hour to burn off dinner.
2000: Line Up for Diet Pills and/or Laxatives
2030: Update food/weight/measurement logs. Set new goals. Free Time: Read/Write.
2200: Lights Out
(30-2 hours after “lights out”): Laxatives do their job. Individual results may vary. No need to ask permission of the CO to use the latrines.